Update from the clinic

So, the last time I posted was a video of Carrie and I sharing how things were going. The good is that up to that point things were getting better. The bad is that the enemy (the devil) has been trying to attack in a lot of different ways. If you don't believe in spiritual attacks, then I guess you can skip this whole blog, but if you do believe in spiritual attacks and would like to read on to hear how things are going, feel free to stick around.
So, after I posted the video, I think we ate dinner and then went back to the hotel. BTW, we are staying at the Dali Suites in Playas de Tijuana, which is the beach side area of Tijuana. For those of you who have not been to Tijuana ... Playas is nice, but the overall feel of Tijuana is definitely a transitory and young city. Anyway, getting back to the attack. I got to the hotel and I think I slept okay that night, but the next morning I woke up feeling really run down and not wanting to do much of anything. We got to the clinic and the weather was not the greatest, but it was okay. We got to the clinic and breakfast was being served. It was a nice breakfast, but I didn't want to eat or do anything. I just wanted to sleep and Bob and Eddie (the chiropractors from Houston) were saying to me that I should maybe take a nap ... that I needed energy and a rest would give me that. My problem was that I didn't want to eat or do anything, but I kept telling myself that I need to get on with the treatments.
So, I didn't take a nap and trudged through my treatments ... actually struggled through my treatments and then it was lunch time. Man oh man did I not want to eat the lunch. It didn't look very appetizing and I just didn't want to eat. Bob, who encouraged me to take a nap earlier, was encouraging me to eat because I need all the energy I can get especially since I am fighting cancer. I was so wiped and feeling discouraged and here's where the attack part comes in.
While I was doing my different treatments, I was trying to pray, but I felt like my prayers were falling or going out into empty space. I was already struggling with my personal stance with God for some reason and so to make the situation worse, as I was calling out to God for help in my time of need, I felt like there was nothing on the other end. Talk about freaking out. I was starting to lose it. Not only that, my anxiousness was coming back. My jittery feelings in my arms were coming back and I didn't make it the full time through any of my treatments that day.
Talk about feeling pretty worthless and defeated. I was down in the pits. To top it all off, I was stressing out about Carrie and how she was doing because the weather was not very nice and so I was trying to think of what she was doing with Ezra and wondering if they were bored or restless. The problem with that is that I couldn't talk to them because I found out from sprint that we can't use our phones here unless we pay $1.69 per minute and if I call Carrie it will be $3.48 a minute because of the way sprint double dips on the minutes. So, overall the day was crap.
The good thing is that at the end of the day I shared with Carrie how I was feeling and some of the things I was experiencing that day. I'll share more in the next post.